Dragonball Poo
by brad2534
Summary: Tofu and Gochen face off!


**DRAGONBALL POO**

**Episode I: Down With Hate**

FADE IN:

EXT. PLAINS OF MAHATMA-DAY

TOFU and GOCHEN are standing, face-to-face, in a barren field. It is all quiet, except for the howl of the wind. They stare at eachother intently. Suddenly, each gets a grimace on their face. They look to be holding something back.

GOCHEN

Ehhhhhh, I'm constapated!

TOFU

Ehhhh, me too.

The look of constapation leaves Tofu, and he jumps to battle position.

TOFU

Forget it! Let's just fight!

Gochen looks confused and irritated.

GOCHEN

Can't I just take a crap!

TOFU

Can't you just hold it? I'll be done with you shortly.

We cut to Gochen. Beside him is a nicely piled piece of poo. He stares at it.

GOCHEN

Too late.

Cutting back to Tofu, he looks disgusted. But then, he gets an intense look in his eye. He holds his hands up in the air and a giant orb appears between them.

TOFU

I don't care, let's just battle!

Tofu fires the orb at Gochen. He is flung back, then hits the ground hard. He lies there on the ground in a heap. He is rolled over. Slowly, Tofu makes his way over. He stares at Gochen for a moment, then turns him over. There are x's in Gochen's eyes.

TOFU

Oh crap...I killed him.

He pauses.

TOFU

Now I have to go to his frickin funeral.

Title Card:

"The Batcaves"

EXT. BATCAVES-DAY

We see the batcaves for the first time. It is dark inside the caves. There is a large, neon sign above that reads: "Batcaves". We hear BATMAN and his assistant STEVE talking.

BATMAN

Ahh, you spilled the coffee!

STEVE

I'm sorry Batman, please don't hurt-

INT. BATCAVES-DAY

Inside, Batman is levatating Steve in the air. There is a cup of coffee on the ground, spilled. Steve's arm is being bent back as he scrreams in pain.

STEVE

Ow! Stop that Batman!

BATMAN

You spilled the coffee!

STEVE

Stop it!

BATMAN

Hahaha!

Title Card:

"Gochen's funeral"

INT. GOCHEN'S FUNERAL-DAY

Tofu is sitting in the church, next to him, sits a snake with two heads.

TOFU

This funeral sucks, why couldn't I have gone easier on him?

We see the preacher at the front of the church, talking/

PREACHER

He was a good boy, blah, blah, blah...

Behind him, the casket begins to creak open.

TOFU

Oh no! He's coming back to kill me!

PREACHER

Blah, blah, blah...

Gochen emerges from the casket in a ray of golden light. He is laughing maniacallly.

Title Card:

"Justice League"

INT. JUSTICE LEAGUE-DAY

Five odd looking individuals sit around a circular table. One, VAGINAMAN, speaks up.

VAGINAMAN

We must stop the giant meteorite!

The others stare at him, confused. The leader of the Justice League, CAPTAIN JUSTICE, addresses him.

CAPTAIN JUSTICE

You've been watching WAY too much Armageddon, Vaginaman.

The phone rings, suddenly. Captain Justice answers it.

CAPTAIN JUSTICE

Hello?

It is Steve, Batman's assistant.

STEVE

Help me!

Capt. Justice hangs up.

VAGINAMAN

Who was it?

CAPTAIN JUSTICE

Salesperson.

Title Card:

"Back at the Funeral"

INT. GOCHEN'S FUNERAL-DAY

The casket is open and Ghost Gochen and Tofu are staring eachother down. Suddenly, they both grimace.

GOCHEN

Ohhh, I'm constapated.

TOFU

Ehhhh, me too.

Title Card:

"Kiekie's Mental House"

INT. KIEKIE'S MENTAL HOUSE

MR. OGACHAKAMI is in a cell, pacing back and forth in a humped position. A man comes up to the cell. He is a guard.

GUARD

Mr. Ogachakami, you've been cleared to leave.

A smile spreads across Mr. O's face

OGACHAKAMI

The inner monkey inside me, thanks you.

GUARD

Oh boy.

Title Card:

"Back at the funeral"

INT. GOCHEN'S FUNERAL-DAY

Gochen's dead body lay on the floor, Tofu stands over him.

TOFU

I killed him...again.

CUT TO:

PREACHER

We are here to mourn the death, reincarnation, and death again of a good friend.

The casket is closed behind the preacher. Tofu sits in his chair. He looks bored. Suddenly, we hear a crash and pan the camera over to reveal Mr. Ogachakami, smashed through the wall.

OGACHAKAMI

I AM MONKEY! HEAR ME ROAR!

VOICE (OS)

Evacuate the building!

Tofu jumps out of his chair.

TOFU

Wait, don't leave! Die, monkey man!

Tofu raises his arms in the air and an orb materializes. He fires it at Mr. O.

OGACHAKAMI

Ahhhhhhhhhh!

CUT TO:

Tofu is standing over Mr. O's dead body.

TOFU

Hm, another death. I'm on a frickin roll.

Tofu looks over and sees two cops staring at him.

COP

Tofu? You're under arrest.

Title Card:

"Tofu's Jail Cell"

INT. TOFU'S JAIL CELL

Tofu is resting his head on the jail cell wall.

TOFU

I have to escape.

Mr. Ogachakami's ghost materializes next to Tofu.

OGACHAKAMI

Tofu, oh Tofu...

TOFU

Huh?

OGACHAKAMI

Fight me again!

TOFU

Never!...Well, ok...But just for a little bit.

CUT TO:

Tofu and Mr. O each have a lightsaber in their hands.

OGACHAKAMI

Tofu, come to the monkey side!

TOFU

NEVER!

They clash, sparks fly everywhere.

TOFU

Dieeee!

They pause, breathing heavily.

TOFU

You killed my father!

OGACHAKAMI

No, Tofu, I AM your father!

TOFU

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Mr. O gets a smile on his face.

OGACHAKAMI

Monkey man just kidding.

TOFU

Oh, ok. That's good.

Title Card:

"Kiekie's"

INT. KIEKIE'S MENTAL HOUSE-WARDEN'S OFFICE-NIGHT

A guard is talking to the warden.

GUARD

Uhh, sir?

WARDEN

What?

GUARD

Ogachakami stormed a funeral.

WARDEN

OH NO!

GUARD

Yes, it is quite unfortunate.

WARDEN

No, I spilled my coffee.

The camera pans down to the warden's desk. It is drenched in coffee.

Title Card:

"Tofu's Jail Cell"

INT. TOFU'S JAIL CELL

TOFU

You will die now!

Ogachakami is pinned into a corner.

OGACHAKAMI

No! Don't kill monkey man!

Tofu goes from psychotic to no expression.

TOFU

Oh, (bleep).

OGACHAKAMI

What!

Tofu grimaces.

TOFU

I think I'm constapated!

Suddenly, Mr. O gets the same look on his face.

OGACHAKAMI

Ehhh, me too.

**THE END**


End file.
